by: John Weyenberg
If you have ever played sports, then the term ‘follow through’ should be familiar. It generally refers to seeing the action a player is engaged in through to its conclusion. In baseball, a pitcher doesn’t just release the ball. He needs to follow through after the release of the ball to have optimal speed and placement of his pitch. A hitter doesn’t just swing at a ball. The hitter needs to follow through in order to have the best bat speed and the most power when he does hit the ball. A basketball player needs follow through when he shoots the ball to have the best accuracy and distance for his shot.
A parent needs to have follow through in order to have the best behavior discipline. It is not enough to simply warn your child not to engage in a certain type of behavior. A warning simply puts the child on notice. A parent must follow through with discipline when the said behavior continues. Allow me to illustrate this with an example of what I consider ‘bad practice’ and what I consider ‘good practice’ regarding this concept of follow through.
Bad practice: Let’s say that Joey has a toy plastic bat and starts to pound it on the side of the TV. His mother gives him a warning: “Stop doing that or you will get a time out.” Joey thinks for a minute and then starts to hit the TV with the bat again. This time the mother issues a similar warning: “I told you to stop that or you would get a time out.” She then proceeds to do whatever it was that she was doing and does not give Joey a time out. This ‘game’ that Joey is playing continues several more times before his mother gets up and takes the bat away. Joey did not receive the time out. Joey has learned that he can get away with a lot and that his mother will likely not follow through with her empty threats of discipline. If this is a pattern for the mother, then pushing the limits will indeed become a game for Joey and he will likely establish a pattern of poor behavior.
Good practice: Let’s use the same scenario. Joey hits the TV with the bat and his mother warns him that if he does it again, he will get a time out. Joey does it again. This mother then gets up and takes the bat away and places Joey in a time out in his room. In this example, the mother has demonstrated ‘follow through’. She issued a warning and on the next occurrence of the behavior (which amounted to outright defiance on Joey’s part), she places him in time out just like she said she would. Joey has learned that his mother is true to her word and that she will do what she says.
In terms of behavior discipline, consistent follow through by the parents will eliminate many types of misbehavior. The child will learn quickly that his or her parents mean what they say and that continued misbehavior is not worth the effort. This should be the aim of every parent and it is easy to accomplish with clear warnings and consistent follow through.
Lack of consistency in regards to ‘follow through’ not only makes your job as a parent a lot more difficult, it allows your child some license to misbehave more due to the lack of consequences. Think about it. If you were late to work everyday and your boss never said anything to you about it, then why would you alter your behavior. More than likely you would continue to be late to work everyday until someone said something or until there were consequences to your being late.
As a parent, you owe it to your child to follow through with the warnings that you give your child. Help them to learn that some behaviors are not okay and these behaviors will not be tolerated. Help them learn early that there are consequences to our behavior, both good and bad.
If you have ever played sports, then the term ‘follow through’ should be familiar. It generally refers to seeing the action a player is engaged in through to its conclusion. In baseball, a pitcher doesn’t just release the ball. He needs to follow through after the release of the ball to have optimal speed and placement of his pitch. A hitter doesn’t just swing at a ball. The hitter needs to follow through in order to have the best bat speed and the most power when he does hit the ball. A basketball player needs follow through when he shoots the ball to have the best accuracy and distance for his shot.
A parent needs to have follow through in order to have the best behavior discipline. It is not enough to simply warn your child not to engage in a certain type of behavior. A warning simply puts the child on notice. A parent must follow through with discipline when the said behavior continues. Allow me to illustrate this with an example of what I consider ‘bad practice’ and what I consider ‘good practice’ regarding this concept of follow through.
Bad practice: Let’s say that Joey has a toy plastic bat and starts to pound it on the side of the TV. His mother gives him a warning: “Stop doing that or you will get a time out.” Joey thinks for a minute and then starts to hit the TV with the bat again. This time the mother issues a similar warning: “I told you to stop that or you would get a time out.” She then proceeds to do whatever it was that she was doing and does not give Joey a time out. This ‘game’ that Joey is playing continues several more times before his mother gets up and takes the bat away. Joey did not receive the time out. Joey has learned that he can get away with a lot and that his mother will likely not follow through with her empty threats of discipline. If this is a pattern for the mother, then pushing the limits will indeed become a game for Joey and he will likely establish a pattern of poor behavior.
Good practice: Let’s use the same scenario. Joey hits the TV with the bat and his mother warns him that if he does it again, he will get a time out. Joey does it again. This mother then gets up and takes the bat away and places Joey in a time out in his room. In this example, the mother has demonstrated ‘follow through’. She issued a warning and on the next occurrence of the behavior (which amounted to outright defiance on Joey’s part), she places him in time out just like she said she would. Joey has learned that his mother is true to her word and that she will do what she says.
In terms of behavior discipline, consistent follow through by the parents will eliminate many types of misbehavior. The child will learn quickly that his or her parents mean what they say and that continued misbehavior is not worth the effort. This should be the aim of every parent and it is easy to accomplish with clear warnings and consistent follow through.
Lack of consistency in regards to ‘follow through’ not only makes your job as a parent a lot more difficult, it allows your child some license to misbehave more due to the lack of consequences. Think about it. If you were late to work everyday and your boss never said anything to you about it, then why would you alter your behavior. More than likely you would continue to be late to work everyday until someone said something or until there were consequences to your being late.
As a parent, you owe it to your child to follow through with the warnings that you give your child. Help them to learn that some behaviors are not okay and these behaviors will not be tolerated. Help them learn early that there are consequences to our behavior, both good and bad.
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